spraying to all fields:

- saw some CRAZY lightning tonite!
- can't wait to see "The Passion of the Christ" - I have a strong suspicion that it's gonna mess me up good
- painting the place has been very gratifying - colors add so much life to a home! I owe a big one to Eugene Chang for helping me out so much!
- Daybear moved out last weekend; got to see his new place tonite - very nice!
- last Saturday, I helped Alice move out of her apt; yet another close friend leaving the area - but this time, I know I'll be seeing her down in SoCal.
- went golfing w/ Eugene Chang on monday
- going to the Stanford Viennese ball on friday - my first formal since prom (unless you count weddings I've stood in)
- practicing the different dances for the ball has been really fun - I like dancing!
- God keeps on providing - got some guys to rent my condo & refinancing went through!
- I got the Maroon 5 cd and have been listening to it like crazy; if someone was around me more, they'd probably be sick of it, but I'm not! catchy music!
- non-working life - nice

last day of work starts in about 10 hours.

everyone's been soooo gracious at work. getting cake, gift certificates, cards. people at work are too kind.

not sure how sad to be about leaving Pruth. on one hand, I'm totally gonna be seeing him after and it feels like it'll be just another day at the office. on the other hand, it won't be the everyday thing it's been for the past 7 years and I feel like I'm gonna miss him tremendously and he, me; and I get choked up a bit.

It's like being cell mates in a jail. Supporting each other thru it, and then me leaving; and leaving him behind knowing how much he doesn't want to be there either, but no longer hating it together. It hurts more knowing how much we both don't like it.

On the other hand, perhaps not being around my toxic attitude toward work will clear up his attitude for it. =) haha! Ah, we'll see.

Either way, I know for sure that afterward, it's gonna feel great!
I'm gonna sleep in and go golfing on monday!!

two more days at work.

trying to decide what frames to get for glasses

goodbye lunches this week:

Monday - Jae Lee - great older brother - was at Oracle before I started 5 years ago, still be there as I leave
Tuesday - small lunch group of coworkers from another team
Wednesday - big goodbye lunch for me and another guy leaving on Friday - lots of people on a beautiful day!
Thurdays - gonna eat with the people I've played sports with at Oracle
Friday - just me and Pruth. I wonder if it's gonna be sad...

Picking out paint colors for the walls, carpet, and countertop patterns.

Got a travelling book on Italy! Can't wait!!

my last week at work.

(or would it be better put - "my last week working"? - seeing as how I don't have another job lined up.)

it's tuesday already. mixed emotions - obviously part of me is excited as I look forward to the adventures and possibilities ahead; another part of me is really sad - sad having to leave the friends I've made at work - especially Pruth. Funny how everyone at work asks me how Pruth will be when I leave, and then they go off on how we're like brothers. I guess we are - we do everything together at work - going out to lunch, going to the bathroom on the way out and back in, playing on bball, volleyball, and softball teams together, sneaking out at lunch to go to the drive range, staying late for work occassionally....sigh - I'll miss that with him

..but not the work. everyday we meet & discuss stuff dealing with our code, it just confirms for me that I am not made for this place. I don't know what it is I want to do, but I know for certain that this is not it. Not for now, not for awhile anyways (never say never with God, ay?). I'm usually not a very decisive, certain kindof person - friends who know me can attest to my meekness and indecision; but at least at this point in time, one thing that I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN of is that I do NOT want to program!!! I'm almost disgusted at spending the amount of time and mental energy I do on minute details that I feel have virtually negligible significance, save the self-serving purpose of keeping this product alive to be one smidget of a factor in making monster corporations more money. Ah, I could vent for quite awhile.

One redeeming quality about this feeling is that I will certainly savor a job that I enjoy. I'll appreciate it after knowing this feeling of displacement. I know no job is perfect and happy all the time; but I think it IS possible to have a job you deeply enjoy at least part of the time - maybe even most of the time, and at LEAST when you stop to think about it. Right now, there is no such time at any time for the past three or so years.

So bring on the goodbye lunches.
Afterall, it's the people that I will miss...

funny how many people have brought up the movie "Office Space" with me.

dozens of my friends: "Have you seen 'Office Space'?"
me: "Yes."
my friends: "I saw that movie and totally thought of you. It's totally like your life!"
me: "Sure is - right down to the cubes, Indian friends, and quitting to go do construction work outside"
my friends: "Yup, all you need to do is find your Jennifer Anniston to watch Kung-Fu with"
me: "Yeah!!" =) haha

A few more days of filing TPS reports....

couple of quick notes:

Did my first 'do-it-yourself' home repair - had a leaky connector under my kitchen sink - went to HomeDepot, found the right parts & replaced them. Easy! and feels great.

can I sound more like a commercial?!

The other thing I wanted to mention is that it seems like God is just providing all over the place. On one hand, I don't want to read too much into things, on the other hand, I don't want to deny God any praises His provisions deserve!

Money is just pouring in (since soon it will stop coming in via direct deposit paycheck). I got my health insurance reimbursement for my couseling sessions and I got 100% coverage (instead of only half after a large deductible). I started my taxes online and it looks like I'll be getting alot of money back there, too.

All this, and a free trip to Italy to boot! So I've been wanting to go on a vacation (and I still may do a separate trip), but then two days ago, a good friend calls and asks if I want to go to Venice, Italy with him. I scoffed at him, but he was serious and explains how his company is rewarding last year's top consultants and he's one of them! Normally, the "one other person" is a spouse, but since my buddy's single - he's willing to take me! Pretty cool, ay!

Again, the kinda stories I normally hear others sharing. Exciting to be experiencing them myself. (actually, it's probably more the case that God has always been providing, I just never needed/appreciated Him as much)

can't wait to get my glasses...

Only two more weeks of work!! One more paycheck. Gotta start making plans & getting responsible again. Funny how I find myself needing to get more responsible as I quit work rather than being responsible with work.

Got my first eye exam last friday. Found some bad news, not so bad news, and good news.

Good news is that I've got better than 20/20 - but I already suspected that (which is why I've never gotten an eye exam before in my life!) and that I've got good health. Did you know they can tell all sorts of stuff by looking in your eyes? Detecting glaucoma, diabetes, high cholesterol, and some other stuff I can't remember - but none of which I have, so I'm okay.

Not so bad news - so while I have 20/20 - no problem seeing stuff, my eyes are weak in doing so. This is why, according to my optometrist, I get sleepy when I read or am on the computer. And I though all this time it was cuz I was lazy! (well, I'm sure it's that, too) So I ordered a pair of glasses this weekend! Just prisms. No "power"/correction in them. My first pair of glasses - the nerd picture is complete now. Pictures to come as soon as I get them.

Bad news - so the optomestrist could tell I haven't taken good care of my eyes. "You don't wear sunglasses, DO you?" me, "well, I just started last year" him, "Yeah, I can tell. You've got some bad stuff going on" I don't remember the techincal word, but basically, the white part of my eye is growing onto the black part of my eye. Not a problem now, but could turn into cataracts someday. Time to put on those shades, baby. Gonna get a pair of prescription sunglasses, too! (medical coverage is great!)

Other deeper stuff.

So I was talking w/ Martin the other day before our small group went bowling. Shared how I was coming to see that I was expecting my bible reading to do something it wasn't meant to do - which is to be the entirety of my relationship with God. As if by reading, somehow all the fullness of a wholly-orbed relationship was to develop, but that I'm finding that this isn't so. That obedience and interaction were required as well. I described it as how (and I could see myself doing this) one might think that just by reading marriage counseling books, it fulfills your relationship with your spouse - but it totally doesn't! You have to have your own specific expressions of love, dialogue, fights, etc.

But Martin said the most remarkeable thing, and it was so nourishing for my soul. So he acknowledged my observation, but he also offered the idea that reading the word would also be likened to reading your wife's journal - and in that very personal way, be *very* relationship building. Wow! So true.

I had forgotten all about that. I brought up my original view because I have been trying to understand my 'funk' in reading God's word. I'm convinced that it's not completely laziness (tho that is there of course), and I've been trying to figure myself out. But what Martin said put the Word in such a warm, personal light that my soul was thawed out a bit. Perhaps I'll reconcile someday with my bible afterall...=)