oops! missed posting on my birthday by a couple of hours. but yeah, turned 31 yesterday! woo hoo! I am now fully into my thirties. Yeah, baby.

Nothing spectacular today - just had lunch w/ Pruth and John at work; and then Pastor Ryan and family had me over for dinner (which was more to catch up than anything else) - really good to catch up w/ Pastor Ryan and Libby samo. Got a number of email wishes and phone calls - thank you to all who remembered! (and if you're reading this and you didn't, no problemo; I'm not all that big on bdays, tho I do like it as an excuse to call my close friends together). There was one funny email card that I laughed out loud to; if you're interested, click here.

Last year, I had this gathering at our apartment for the big three-oh. Lots of friends from all different areas of my life. I can't believe it's already been a whole year since then! Crazy! But you know, fortunately, I'm not all sad about turning 31. I've really gotta praise God for keeping my spirits up. In fact, I feel like my life is just beginning. I'm on a new trip - checking out careers, finding new resolve to date and meet people, travelling, getting a home, really grabbing life by the horns and thoroughly enjoying every minute of it! This is a great stage of life, man. Part of me wishes I'd reached it sooner, but part of me appreciates exactly how God has brought me to this point (and for that matter, than I am in this condition at all). Thanks be to God for His peace that passes understanding, and for putting new songs in our hearts.

ok, it's like 4am and I can't sleep. I thought I did a pretty good job of staying awake as late as I could yesterday, but it seems that jet lag has gotten me! It's really new to me because I've never had jet lag before - my life used to be so outta control that I was never really in any sort of sleep rhythm, in a sense, I was never in any one time zone. haha. But now, ugh.

So yeah, I arrived back into SFO yesterday morning at ~10am. Sakura picked me up and we went straight to service at KCPC. You know, I want to say I was really tired, and I was, but I wasn't. I hadn't slept on the flight at all so I was definitely in this sort of "all nighter" state of mind; but being back in the area and seeing lots of old friends was tremendous. Being back at KCPC was awesome! I was only gone for 2 weeks, but it felt so good to see all these old faces. Not only that, but it's spring break here, so the big crowd is gone and old faces are back home - I got to see Chris Alberto, David Kim, Nina Lee, Eddie Shin, even DK was in town! I had two lunches - one with Eddie, Eugene, and Alice; and another with Sakura, DK, Jessica, Andy Han, Frank Lee, and then Jomo & Hong came later.

And tired as I was, I was totally alert thru the worship service. I'm not sure what it was - the familiarity, the old friends, the long journey, all the thinking I'd been doing - I just had this deep sense of needing Jesus and being close to him. The message totally fit what I was feeling as well. Eugene played an excerpt from a Joni Erickson Tada interview and she mentioned a small town in Africa somewhere where the "outcasts" of society - the orphans, the crippled, the diseased - lived and worshipped with joy - singing and dancing saying "welcome to our town...where God is bigger...because we need Him more" I was thinking "Amen" cuz that's exactly how I feel. This seems to be a common message God is sending to me as I read similar themes in the Rich Mullins biography I was reading on the flight back. I had to start the book over - but it's been worth it!

The message was also a good challenge and reminder to monitor the way I spend my money. Especially with the new condo - I'm sure there'll be tempations to buy all sorts of stuff for it (in fact, that was one of Eugene's points - that the more stuff we buy, the more stuff we need to buy for the stuff we just bought), so I want to keep a vigilant eye out on how much and how I do so. I want to make sure my giving doesn't change. But at the same time, there was a good reminder that it's ALL God's money and resources - it's not like I give offering to church and the rest is "mine". haha I certainly hope the new home is used for God's glory. I can't wait to move in and have a sort of haven/sanctuary for myself and my friends.

I'll write more about "vision" and stuff like that later...time to try to force myself to sleep - gotta go to work tomorrow! er...today.

hello again! So I'm back in Korea now (actually, I've been back for a few days now). China was amazing! Seeing Eric and seeing that he's doing well & that he's been provided with some outstanding people to be with was very blessing. We had one day of meeting missionaries and one day of 'touristy' stuff. Both were way cool. The people I met (missionaries, nationals, other foreign students) were all so eager in their walk w/ our Lord. The nationals were so happy to get a bible in simplified characters and zealous to share with their families; the 'workers' were planning how they'd reach a minority group as they studied the language and stuff. It was all so amazing. I also saw pictures of how another team was helping a countryside community strengthen their own economy by diversifying into new sources of income (pigs, etc) and using new methods. I could really see the value in entrepreneureal thinking there. Eric's team leader and family were really encouraging, too. A few tidbits of wisdom i gained from them include: affirmation that initimacy with God is core; experience of community is so much closer out on the field; in terms of choosing a county to 'go' to, while some are called to a specific place, many go these days not based on the country so much as who you go with - i.e. finding a team and then finding a place together - supposedly a generation-X tendency (not 'what' so much as 'who with'). Eric was a really good host. Helped me get gifts, food, sleep, etc. It was very good to just talk and share and pray with him. We're gonna try to take some bible classes together when he gets back. We'll see...

As for touristy stuff there, I couldn't believe I was standing in Tianenmen Square! So much history there! Going into the Forbidden City was cool, too - tho I have to admit, it was very similar to the myriad palaces I've seen in Korea - gotta appreciate the history! Didn't get to see the Great Wall however. It's some time away from the cities and I wanted to visit people more than the sites (for this trip anyways). Oh, I did get to see Jerry Yoon and Helen Song, too - they seem to be doing well in hanging in there.

Korea's been really good, too. Handong University is incredible - based on all the stories and accolades that Abraham and Sandy tell me. So many good things going on at this school in the way of guiding young people into seeing their station in life and how their work fits in with the global vision to expand God's kingdom. Really provokes a curiosity in me of how Christian schools in the US are (like Wheaton, Biola, etc). The school here is gaining great respectability as students do remarkable real-city impact work in other countries, win national contests (even against Seoul and Yonsei), and learn much in english. The whole school is like a huge farm system for missionaries, kinda like AAA minor leagues - everything and everyone here is geared toward finding one's place in the Kingdom. It's not perfect of course, it has its problems just like any other institution, but the vision and the big idea here is awesome and inspiring.

Personally, it's been very fun - Sandy and I stayed up till 6am on the first nite I was here! It was really really good to catch up with her. That's something I noticed w/ Eric, too - people really miss people from home - we really should take our vacations where missionaries are at. Eric really enjoyed seeing people on the tape; haven't had the chance to show Sandy her messages. We've been doing alot of singing and eating and hanging out with her friends (who have been really fun, too).

Professionally, I got worked. =) I talked to a Computer Science professor and once I told him I don't have a masters and don't plan on getting one, it was over. haha! (I guess that wasn't a great line, ay? after that one, I started getting the "so...uh...do you have family in Korea?" questions!) But hey, I gotta be honest. If they want a "professor" professor, then I'm not it; but if they want a lecturer or something then maybe - but apparantly, they didn't need one like me. But I did get to talk to another professor and got to hear about some really cool stuff going on regarding computers. Got a lot to say about my response to these different paths, but I'll save that for later once I've processed it myself.

Next, I'll be going city hopping going thru Daegu to Busan, then to Daejon, and then back up to Seoul.

Oh, before I flew down here from Seoul, I went on a 'soh-geh-ting' (that is, a blind date) - it was awkward - but her english was pretty good so that helped. Great gal - curator of an art gallery, graduated from a good university, etc. Not sure yet how to regard meeting people in this way, however - I don't want to say simply that "I didn't like her" - I mean, how much can you know about a person in one sitting? I mean, she was cool, laughed alot, etc. But then again, I have to be honest and say that I wasn't really compelled to ask her out again either - but I don't know if that's because "it wasn't there" or if it's my mindset that's preventing me from really giving any new relationship any chance. Maybe I'm thinking too much and I should just be a little more 'base'. Ah, this could be a whole set of paragraphs in and of its own. Just wanted to include something "juicy" for my fans out there. =) haha!

thanks for reading and praying for me!

Amazing! I'm on a payphone here in Korea! Getting ready to fly to China soon.
I've only got 50 seconds left, so I'm not gonna be able to say much here.

more soon! but I got here safe & sound. =)

Finally got pictures of the new condo online at picturetrail.com. Current residents still live there which is why it looks so nice. Escrow is supposed to close at the end of march; then, depending on when the current owner finds his place and closes escrow and moves out, I could be moving in as soon as April sometime, or as late as early June. We'll see.

As for vacation plans, here's what I'm up to:

Saturday 3/8 - fly out of SFO
3/9- Arrive in Seoul for one day layover - visit highest ranking uncle (you know how that is...)
3/10 - Arrive in Tianjin to visit Eric, his school, other "visitors", Beijing; may get to see Tony and/or Donna
3/13 - Fly back to Seoul
3/14 - Fly down to Pohang to visit Sandy and Abraham and Handong University; Daegu & Pusan - see grandma
3/19 or so - Fly back up to Seoul - visit more family; maybe Tim
Sunday 3/23 - Fly back into SF

Just wanted to log a couple of songs I've wanted to write about but haven't gotten around to.

One is a short part of an old Steve Camp song (if you know who he is, you're old, dude) =) Perhaps I prayed this prayer a long time ago cuz these past two years sure have been breaking (gotta watch out what you pray for, ay) =) ...

Oh Lord take your plow to my fallow ground
Let your blade dig down into the soil of my soul
For I've become dry and dusty
Lord I know there must be
Richer earth lyin' below...

If you're into intense lyrics and powerful music about the lost and conviction of sin and the harsh realities of the Christian walk, Steve Camp's the man for you! His songs are awesome, but I can't listen to too many for too long. But this excerpt has been lingering in my mind recently as I see my life turning around a bit. The darkness of the past is seeming further back and the brightness of the present is getting warmer and happier. There was a long time where I knew I was just the sheltered suburban kid who never knew hardship or internal depth/struggle. I prayed for depth in my walk with God - and it came, but thru some deep internal cuts and plowing. I feel like I'm fertile soil now, ready for whatever God has for me - mostly because I'm coming around to seeing God as my Father and Friend as well as my Lord. (the Lover dimension is still kinda unreal to me).

This turn around has been reflected in another song - this one by Wayne Watson

The Things God Loves
by Wayne Watson

I'll be a friend to You
move as the Spirit moves
dance unrestrained with joy
or welcome crying eyes

Bless as I have been blessed
hunger for righteousness
love all the things You love
and hate what You despise

Oh God let what breaks Your heart
likewise to me impart
sadness and sympathy
still with hope not too far removed

And what brings a smile to You
make my heart lighter too
hate all that You despise
and love the things You love

(bridge)
And all that brings me pleasure here
please you Lord above

Hate all that You despise
and love the things
love the things You love
and love the things
love the things You love

I've always liked that song, but now it's with a bit of refreshing new closeness; and I know now that there's more to come...

I wrote about my hopes on my upcoming trip a little bit, but just to reiterate - my prayer as I travel to China and Korea (and later to Miami), is that my soul is "caught" by some vision or vocation. Like the Word of God burning in Jeremiah's bones, I desire His truth to arise from within me to say as he did:

Jeremiah 20:9
But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,"
his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

At the same time, I know now that this is something that will happen in God's timing. I know he has a certain order of things and has me moving away from deeds first to having my heart first. I still remember a book I read that compared Saul to David - how Saul fell out of favor with God by rushing ahead of Samuel and offering sacrifices when he wasn't supposed to - a driven man led by ambition for accomplishment instead of relationship. This was in stark contrast to David who sought intimacy with God thru a time of being in a lowly position (as others saw it) of shepherd and then found his destiny as a result of that formed relationship. His zeal for God's glory and felt conviction and developed trust in God's real-life care (feding off lions with a staff?!?) were the catalyst and lifeline of his moment with destiny. This was brought up in the Perspectives class I took, too. Look for your destiny and you will lose it; seek intimacy with God and He'll guide you through it.

This is what I'm praying will happen on my trip(s) as well as at my new home. Learning to walk with God - to be honest with Him, to learn to hear Him, to be one with His Spirit and His desires - for me and for the nations, and what my part is in His Kingdom.