funny question to myself
[after writing all this, I wasn't sure I wanted to post it; but I figure it may spawn off a helpful discussion, so here it is...]
so a friend emailed me sharing that his/her walk w/ God was lukewarm and or difficult; that there was no desire to pray or read. He/She also mentioned that they don't feel a need for God. [I've often felt this way in the past - and still battle it; except that my need for God is quite amplified these days so it hasn't been as much of a struggle of late; Friend, I hope this entry proves of some help, if only to encourage that you're not alone].
So on one hand, if I just looked at the behavior, it makes sense. Deep inside, we detect that we don't feel we need God, hence we don't seek Him out in prayer or in His word.
My curiousity comes with the feeling of frustration that usually accompanies this state (which, btw, I think is extremely prevalent in my circles of friends). This is almost always the prayer request I hear at small group meetings. "I'm not praying enough" or "I'm not reading the scriptures enough".
If we don't feel a need for God in our heart, why are we troubled by our behavior of not praying or reading His word? Know what I mean? It's like, well, I don't need heart surgery, why am I frustrated that I'm not looking for a heart surgeon? It's just not consistent to not feel a need for God and be frustrated at our lack of behavior.
Now, of course, we know rationally, that we always need God and hence that we should always be praying & reading. But I don't think our bodies/flesh always realize we need God, know what I mean? So perhaps it's the "watchdog" inside of us that knows this and prods us to be reading & praying?
Personally, I see a couple of possibilities to explain our frustration:
1. our main concern, really, is with our spiritual performance. hence, the connection between what you could call 'consistent' behavior (not needing God, hence no need to pray or read) and the frustration. Since our concern is with our performance and we're not doing the outward deeds, we're frustrated that we're not earning something that makes us more righteous.
2. our 'watchdog' is just a little out of tune. yes, we should always be praying and reading (scripture itself says we should be!). But perhaps, our behavior (or lack thereof) should serve mainly as the symptoms and really, we should be looking for the cause(s) instead of focusing so much on outward actions (so I guess #2 is just a variation on #1). As for causes, there could be all kinds! An inflated view of self (overconfidence); an overly low view of self (despair); too small a view of God (poor teaching, lack of faith, sometime cynicism); too big a view of the problems (the weeds that choke the seedling). I'm sure there are more, but that's just a few off the top of my head.
Unfortunately, in my own experience anyways, I've found that the only way for us to learn how much we need God is to get broken in one way or another and then for truth to enter in. I really can't think of anyone I know personally whose life has been easy (not necessarily materially) and whose prayer life is deep and whose thoughts are saturated w/ scripture.
It seems only those who've gone thru a valley of some sort have this fellowship. Reminds me of a quote I heard in a sermon (that I'm gonna mangle). I think Chuck Swindoll said it, that before God can use a man greatly, He must hurt Him deeply. Sucks, but I think it's true. We're just too sinfully ignorant and proud to see our need for God before this happens.
So let's hurry up and get broken!! =) This is God's 'severe mercy' (I think CS Lewis coined that term; gotta give credit, you know...)
Whether outward or inward, we fall short; but Christ makes up for all that. oh, but how hard it is to believe this! I think this is why we need sermons and the body of Christ - to help our unbelief.
Ah, I'm just rambling. Please comment w/ your thoughts and help us out! (if you've even read this far, that is!)
so a friend emailed me sharing that his/her walk w/ God was lukewarm and or difficult; that there was no desire to pray or read. He/She also mentioned that they don't feel a need for God. [I've often felt this way in the past - and still battle it; except that my need for God is quite amplified these days so it hasn't been as much of a struggle of late; Friend, I hope this entry proves of some help, if only to encourage that you're not alone].
So on one hand, if I just looked at the behavior, it makes sense. Deep inside, we detect that we don't feel we need God, hence we don't seek Him out in prayer or in His word.
My curiousity comes with the feeling of frustration that usually accompanies this state (which, btw, I think is extremely prevalent in my circles of friends). This is almost always the prayer request I hear at small group meetings. "I'm not praying enough" or "I'm not reading the scriptures enough".
If we don't feel a need for God in our heart, why are we troubled by our behavior of not praying or reading His word? Know what I mean? It's like, well, I don't need heart surgery, why am I frustrated that I'm not looking for a heart surgeon? It's just not consistent to not feel a need for God and be frustrated at our lack of behavior.
Now, of course, we know rationally, that we always need God and hence that we should always be praying & reading. But I don't think our bodies/flesh always realize we need God, know what I mean? So perhaps it's the "watchdog" inside of us that knows this and prods us to be reading & praying?
Personally, I see a couple of possibilities to explain our frustration:
1. our main concern, really, is with our spiritual performance. hence, the connection between what you could call 'consistent' behavior (not needing God, hence no need to pray or read) and the frustration. Since our concern is with our performance and we're not doing the outward deeds, we're frustrated that we're not earning something that makes us more righteous.
2. our 'watchdog' is just a little out of tune. yes, we should always be praying and reading (scripture itself says we should be!). But perhaps, our behavior (or lack thereof) should serve mainly as the symptoms and really, we should be looking for the cause(s) instead of focusing so much on outward actions (so I guess #2 is just a variation on #1). As for causes, there could be all kinds! An inflated view of self (overconfidence); an overly low view of self (despair); too small a view of God (poor teaching, lack of faith, sometime cynicism); too big a view of the problems (the weeds that choke the seedling). I'm sure there are more, but that's just a few off the top of my head.
Unfortunately, in my own experience anyways, I've found that the only way for us to learn how much we need God is to get broken in one way or another and then for truth to enter in. I really can't think of anyone I know personally whose life has been easy (not necessarily materially) and whose prayer life is deep and whose thoughts are saturated w/ scripture.
It seems only those who've gone thru a valley of some sort have this fellowship. Reminds me of a quote I heard in a sermon (that I'm gonna mangle). I think Chuck Swindoll said it, that before God can use a man greatly, He must hurt Him deeply. Sucks, but I think it's true. We're just too sinfully ignorant and proud to see our need for God before this happens.
So let's hurry up and get broken!! =) This is God's 'severe mercy' (I think CS Lewis coined that term; gotta give credit, you know...)
Whether outward or inward, we fall short; but Christ makes up for all that. oh, but how hard it is to believe this! I think this is why we need sermons and the body of Christ - to help our unbelief.
Ah, I'm just rambling. Please comment w/ your thoughts and help us out! (if you've even read this far, that is!)
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