made it home safe & sound. the drive from SF to LA is getting easier & easier.
got to listen to Sara Groves' new album and Lauryn Hill's unplugged CD. Sara Groves because I'm a fan now; Lauryn Hill because it was a gift & highly recommended. both took some getting used to, but they were good.
I have to confess, if you thought I lost it on Sunday, you should've seen me on Monday nite.
So here was my monday:
pack my car, say bye to Phil & Nikki, my gracious hosts (and their cats, Mohito & Ferdinand - the two cats who have made room in my mind for cats being cool - before hanging with them, I was all dogs and 'no' on cats).
then, have lunch w/ Pruth & some work friends; then say bye to Pruth. He jacked me - gave me a picture frame w/ a pic of us from the end of our freshman year in college - 1991! Saying bye was sad, I got choked up; but we're old enough to know we'll see each other again.
then I saw Jaepil for a moment. no emotions there since I'm looking forward to seeing him down south if/when he goes for his teaching credential. no tears, no problem
then I saw Pastor Ryan & Libby samo for an early dinner, then hung out at their home to see the kids. We just sang some songs on their dvd karaoke machine. it felt really warm & comfortable - we really should've done more of that. I said goodbye to Libby & the kids; Pastor Ryan walked me out to the car. Sad, but again - he's old enough to not get worked up about this stuff anymore. And I know I'll see him at Hai-En & Sandra's wedding; and eventually to ask him to do mines. yeah baby!
then I drove to Berkeley to see Eugene. parked on Dwight like I often do - just around the corner from Capri. dropped by his apt, watched a little tv & chatted; then it was time for his meeting with the college officers. we said an awkward bye. he walked me out to my car and as I was approaching my car, I lost it. I remember saying "oh my, I'm really leaving" - I guess it finally hit me. I saw my car, all packed up and I lost it. I don't think I've ever experienced denial coming undone with such clarity ever before. I'm not ashamed to say I cried in Eugene's embrace, cried as I was getting to my car, and cried driving out to Pleasanton. Dude, I needed wipers for my eyes! Not ashamed to say so, however, cuz I think the tears reflect how much I've put in of myself and how much I've received from everyone - especially the people I saw that day. I suppose I made it a point to see them on the last day without even thinking about it.
These people, compounded by all the special treatment I had received, had built up a flood of emotion that just came pouring out. As I cried while Eugene held me, I remember thinking "we must look so gay", but I didn't care. It felt good to get it out. (Eugene got emotional at times, too. but don't tell anyone, I don't want to work against his tough-guy persona; haha; but I know this, his friendship to me in these dark times & his tears for me were the lifters of the floodgates)
Side note now to break the flow. You know, I originally started writing this blog for a certain audience, most of whom are not from the current yag population. But now, I think there's a number of folks who read who are from small group. I'm so sorry for writing about you all in the third person. I suppose I could write a thank you here for that wonderful scrap book and all the other gifts! I've read all the letters & notes and I know that added water to my flood of tears. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
anyways, so yeah, an emotional day.
ended with me arriving in Pleasanton at my friend Dave's hotel room. Dave is the one taking me to Italy. I didn't realize it at the time, but seeing Dave that night couldn't have been more perfect. You see, Dave is the one who first brought me out to KCPC! Way back in 1992, he invited me to live with him and invited me out to church. He was also the one to pull me into youth ministry. It was perfect because I know he understands how much we love KCPC, he was there at the beginning of the EM and also gave much of his life into it; and now, he'll be the first person I see and hang out with on the "other side". Now that I think about it, it's almost eerie. Almost like seeing Gandalf again, or Rod Serling showing up again to make comments on my life (if you know who that is, you're *really* old! haha).
tuesday was much more casual. slept in at Dave's hotel room; had lunch with Luke (another old, school friend; my year) and drove home to lovely Fontana! being home was good; had dinner & they even had a birthday cake for me! awwww
wierd having internet at home; but sooo glad we do. It's seriously a major life line wrt keeping in touch and taking care of business.
anyways, thanks for reading; and if you're from EBSG, thanks soooooooo much!!
got to listen to Sara Groves' new album and Lauryn Hill's unplugged CD. Sara Groves because I'm a fan now; Lauryn Hill because it was a gift & highly recommended. both took some getting used to, but they were good.
I have to confess, if you thought I lost it on Sunday, you should've seen me on Monday nite.
So here was my monday:
pack my car, say bye to Phil & Nikki, my gracious hosts (and their cats, Mohito & Ferdinand - the two cats who have made room in my mind for cats being cool - before hanging with them, I was all dogs and 'no' on cats).
then, have lunch w/ Pruth & some work friends; then say bye to Pruth. He jacked me - gave me a picture frame w/ a pic of us from the end of our freshman year in college - 1991! Saying bye was sad, I got choked up; but we're old enough to know we'll see each other again.
then I saw Jaepil for a moment. no emotions there since I'm looking forward to seeing him down south if/when he goes for his teaching credential. no tears, no problem
then I saw Pastor Ryan & Libby samo for an early dinner, then hung out at their home to see the kids. We just sang some songs on their dvd karaoke machine. it felt really warm & comfortable - we really should've done more of that. I said goodbye to Libby & the kids; Pastor Ryan walked me out to the car. Sad, but again - he's old enough to not get worked up about this stuff anymore. And I know I'll see him at Hai-En & Sandra's wedding; and eventually to ask him to do mines. yeah baby!
then I drove to Berkeley to see Eugene. parked on Dwight like I often do - just around the corner from Capri. dropped by his apt, watched a little tv & chatted; then it was time for his meeting with the college officers. we said an awkward bye. he walked me out to my car and as I was approaching my car, I lost it. I remember saying "oh my, I'm really leaving" - I guess it finally hit me. I saw my car, all packed up and I lost it. I don't think I've ever experienced denial coming undone with such clarity ever before. I'm not ashamed to say I cried in Eugene's embrace, cried as I was getting to my car, and cried driving out to Pleasanton. Dude, I needed wipers for my eyes! Not ashamed to say so, however, cuz I think the tears reflect how much I've put in of myself and how much I've received from everyone - especially the people I saw that day. I suppose I made it a point to see them on the last day without even thinking about it.
These people, compounded by all the special treatment I had received, had built up a flood of emotion that just came pouring out. As I cried while Eugene held me, I remember thinking "we must look so gay", but I didn't care. It felt good to get it out. (Eugene got emotional at times, too. but don't tell anyone, I don't want to work against his tough-guy persona; haha; but I know this, his friendship to me in these dark times & his tears for me were the lifters of the floodgates)
Side note now to break the flow. You know, I originally started writing this blog for a certain audience, most of whom are not from the current yag population. But now, I think there's a number of folks who read who are from small group. I'm so sorry for writing about you all in the third person. I suppose I could write a thank you here for that wonderful scrap book and all the other gifts! I've read all the letters & notes and I know that added water to my flood of tears. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
anyways, so yeah, an emotional day.
ended with me arriving in Pleasanton at my friend Dave's hotel room. Dave is the one taking me to Italy. I didn't realize it at the time, but seeing Dave that night couldn't have been more perfect. You see, Dave is the one who first brought me out to KCPC! Way back in 1992, he invited me to live with him and invited me out to church. He was also the one to pull me into youth ministry. It was perfect because I know he understands how much we love KCPC, he was there at the beginning of the EM and also gave much of his life into it; and now, he'll be the first person I see and hang out with on the "other side". Now that I think about it, it's almost eerie. Almost like seeing Gandalf again, or Rod Serling showing up again to make comments on my life (if you know who that is, you're *really* old! haha).
tuesday was much more casual. slept in at Dave's hotel room; had lunch with Luke (another old, school friend; my year) and drove home to lovely Fontana! being home was good; had dinner & they even had a birthday cake for me! awwww
wierd having internet at home; but sooo glad we do. It's seriously a major life line wrt keeping in touch and taking care of business.
anyways, thanks for reading; and if you're from EBSG, thanks soooooooo much!!
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