WOOHOO!!!!! My sister got a job offer in NY and she's taking it! It's exactly what she was looking for - a small team, where she'd get to design and defend her work, and doing books at that (her dream occupation)!!! God provides. In this case, so much so, and so quickly, that she was wondering whether to take it or not. We talked about it; funny, now that I think about it, I'm not sure why she didn't want to take it - one of those "seems too good to be true" kinda deals, I suppose.
Well, with that and her moving into new own NY pad (well, her & her friend/roommate's place), I'm the mega-proud older brother. Proud of my sister who had the guts to leave a decent job near home to go far away and chase her dreams under uncertain cirumstances. I think all of our faiths have been strengthened at God's faithfulness in her adventure - which, really, is just starting. haha. She emailed me her new address, it's so...cool, so...New York. I know you're gonna WOW them, biz!
Here, and on my trip, God is providing in other ways; no less specific, but not nearly as dramatic. I had wanted some close accountability on private sins and just the other day, almost out of nowhere, a buddy called up wanting to establish an intentional relationship for stuff like that! PTL! Also, I wanted to have "no schedule, no plans; an almost irresponsible lack of preparation that God would cover over" and I got that on my trip - what grace. I wasn't totally out of it, but not my normal, totally predictable self either. I'd show up in town w/o a place to stay and then meet people offering housing (not free, of course), I'd find streets w/o knowing exactly where they were, etc. And even if they didn't, I was kinda looking forward to my own "I spent the night in the train station" story.
Most blessing however, was the blessing of an optimistic imagination the other day here at home. So different, so refreshing was it, that I feel like it's changed me from the inside indelibly. Normally, little passing thoughts that I try to eek life from is a very fleeting and passing drug. This thought was different. It was almost an experience. I can't describe it any better than that - an "optimistic imagination".
Is that what hope is? At least for me and what I felt, it is. A recurring theme recently has been Trust. That aspect of my relationship with God that really believes that He is good (and not out to "get" me) and that He will provide for me. I'll be totally candid, what I imagined was the faint, foggy silhouette of a girl. A girl I was madly attracted to and who liked me as well. All I saw was her head looking to my left and the outline of her wavy, layered hair.
I wish I could put it into words, but this thought (if you could call it that) was different. Very abstract, but more concrete than any images before - and it wasn't even an image, at that. And the feeling wasn't self-pity like it's been all my life, but more of an excited anticipiation. To the point that most of me wants to say "I WILL meet someone!" - but the logical side of me always leaves open the chance that this is not what God has in store for me. Anyways, more than the prospect of a mere dating relationship, the feeling was more of a combined blessing of a loving human relationship provided by and permeated by a Godward loving relationship. HE would be providing this person, and happy to do so.
And this actually came upon the heels of realizing how many friends have gotten engaged recently in my circle of friends. Since January, I know of 4 new enagements, 1 wedding done, and 1 to come soon:
Weddings:
George & Jenny (not the Kangs, but the Chongs) - wed in Jan
Hai-En & Sandra (3 weekends from now)
Engagements:
Phil (DK) & Jessica ('05 sometime)
Sandy & Scott (not a formal engagement I think, but pretty much so)
Grace (Bang) & Dewey (in Aug '04))
Ting & Becky (to be wed 4 weekends from now)
So that's, in essence, 6 weddings to process and be happy for. Again, the standard mixture of joy for my buddies and friends, yet the marked loneliness and longing for myself - skirting the line of self-pity. But this week, it's all gone! Amazingly, all gone. And I honestly can't explain it away - it was simply a gift of God, administered no doubt by his Holy Spirit. So much so that I had to write about it. I'll see if it turns into something to put on here. I'm excited about getting on with my life to do what I want to do; indeed, was made and called to do; not what may impress some woman.
There's been other stuff that's been a blessing (learning to express and act on "what I want to do/eat/see, etc"; reading about becoming an adult, slowly getting back into scripture w/ freedom). No doubt, used to sum up to this blessing of freedom & optimism.
Anyways, lots of good stuff happening. Visibly for my sister, mostly internally for me. =)
God is good!
(eh, a part of me is embarrased to write it that way; the italics seems to emphazise that I didn't believe this before - but that's my confession; ah, me of so little faith!) haha. I love being proven wrong about God, having my own little pessimistic box busted open, to have the Allmighty show what I am sure is yet only a small, small part of His overall, infinite grandeur.
Pictures to come soon! Thanks, Mateo for helpful stuffs.
Well, with that and her moving into new own NY pad (well, her & her friend/roommate's place), I'm the mega-proud older brother. Proud of my sister who had the guts to leave a decent job near home to go far away and chase her dreams under uncertain cirumstances. I think all of our faiths have been strengthened at God's faithfulness in her adventure - which, really, is just starting. haha. She emailed me her new address, it's so...cool, so...New York. I know you're gonna WOW them, biz!
Here, and on my trip, God is providing in other ways; no less specific, but not nearly as dramatic. I had wanted some close accountability on private sins and just the other day, almost out of nowhere, a buddy called up wanting to establish an intentional relationship for stuff like that! PTL! Also, I wanted to have "no schedule, no plans; an almost irresponsible lack of preparation that God would cover over" and I got that on my trip - what grace. I wasn't totally out of it, but not my normal, totally predictable self either. I'd show up in town w/o a place to stay and then meet people offering housing (not free, of course), I'd find streets w/o knowing exactly where they were, etc. And even if they didn't, I was kinda looking forward to my own "I spent the night in the train station" story.
Most blessing however, was the blessing of an optimistic imagination the other day here at home. So different, so refreshing was it, that I feel like it's changed me from the inside indelibly. Normally, little passing thoughts that I try to eek life from is a very fleeting and passing drug. This thought was different. It was almost an experience. I can't describe it any better than that - an "optimistic imagination".
Is that what hope is? At least for me and what I felt, it is. A recurring theme recently has been Trust. That aspect of my relationship with God that really believes that He is good (and not out to "get" me) and that He will provide for me. I'll be totally candid, what I imagined was the faint, foggy silhouette of a girl. A girl I was madly attracted to and who liked me as well. All I saw was her head looking to my left and the outline of her wavy, layered hair.
I wish I could put it into words, but this thought (if you could call it that) was different. Very abstract, but more concrete than any images before - and it wasn't even an image, at that. And the feeling wasn't self-pity like it's been all my life, but more of an excited anticipiation. To the point that most of me wants to say "I WILL meet someone!" - but the logical side of me always leaves open the chance that this is not what God has in store for me. Anyways, more than the prospect of a mere dating relationship, the feeling was more of a combined blessing of a loving human relationship provided by and permeated by a Godward loving relationship. HE would be providing this person, and happy to do so.
And this actually came upon the heels of realizing how many friends have gotten engaged recently in my circle of friends. Since January, I know of 4 new enagements, 1 wedding done, and 1 to come soon:
Weddings:
George & Jenny (not the Kangs, but the Chongs) - wed in Jan
Hai-En & Sandra (3 weekends from now)
Engagements:
Phil (DK) & Jessica ('05 sometime)
Sandy & Scott (not a formal engagement I think, but pretty much so)
Grace (Bang) & Dewey (in Aug '04))
Ting & Becky (to be wed 4 weekends from now)
So that's, in essence, 6 weddings to process and be happy for. Again, the standard mixture of joy for my buddies and friends, yet the marked loneliness and longing for myself - skirting the line of self-pity. But this week, it's all gone! Amazingly, all gone. And I honestly can't explain it away - it was simply a gift of God, administered no doubt by his Holy Spirit. So much so that I had to write about it. I'll see if it turns into something to put on here. I'm excited about getting on with my life to do what I want to do; indeed, was made and called to do; not what may impress some woman.
There's been other stuff that's been a blessing (learning to express and act on "what I want to do/eat/see, etc"; reading about becoming an adult, slowly getting back into scripture w/ freedom). No doubt, used to sum up to this blessing of freedom & optimism.
Anyways, lots of good stuff happening. Visibly for my sister, mostly internally for me. =)
God is good!
(eh, a part of me is embarrased to write it that way; the italics seems to emphazise that I didn't believe this before - but that's my confession; ah, me of so little faith!) haha. I love being proven wrong about God, having my own little pessimistic box busted open, to have the Allmighty show what I am sure is yet only a small, small part of His overall, infinite grandeur.
Pictures to come soon! Thanks, Mateo for helpful stuffs.
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